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9 weeks and counting…

It’s been a while since I last blogged. Honestly, any free moments I get I don’t wish to spend on technology. Everything, and I do mean everything, makes me nauseated. From scrolling my phone, to typing in front of the computer, to smelling all kinds of food. The only time I don’t feel like vomiting is when I watch TV (which is a huge distraction) and when I sleep.

Ever since my last post, mom has told all my maternal aunts (her sisters) of my pregnancy. We are all excited as it has been a while since we had little ones in our family. While at this moment I am not enjoying pregnancy, I am however enjoying the thought of being a mom.

Physical Changes

The nausea is a real downer, I wake up and drink a sip of water and I want to puke. I walk too fast and I get light headed. All my favourite food just makes me feel uncomfortable and every day it’s as though all the food I eat is stuck in my throat threatening to come out into the toilet bowl. I have no mood to go out, even to walk my dog, which is sad. I want to eat, which is my favourite past time, but I can’t. Especially now when my relatives are over, we are going out to eat almost everyday. But I can’t even eat more than a few spoon full of rice. Hubby was a little annoyed at first, thinking I was playing with my food. But honestly, even fried garlic makes me pukey. And chinese food has a lot of fried garlic.

My pimples are coming back. I battled with terrible pimples ever since I was a teenager. I got a lot of criticism from a lot of people. “You would look so much better if you did something about your acne!” “Oh dear, your face is getting worse! Have you thought about seeing a doctor?” “Why don’t you do something about it and stop being so lazy and unhygienic about your pimples.”

Honestly, people can say the worst things. It really affected my self esteem and I did not want to get out of the house. I didn’t even try make up until a year ago. Anyway, it took hubby a little convincing before he let me go to the dermatologist. In his defense, he never thought that there was anything wrong with my face to begin with and thus never saw the need to see a doctor about it. But when I finally did, and my pimples cleared up (not entirely, but enough), I immediately felt better about myself. Now that the pimples are coming back, he dragged me to the clinic again. And I must say, the medication, which are all appropriate for pregnancy, is helping to keep the pimples under control.

I don’t have a bulge yet, except for the one I already have that is full of fats. So sometimes it is hard to feel like I am expecting. Although, the exhaustion and nausea is always there to remind me. 🙂

Emotional Changes

I don’t like crowds and I don’t like to attend events, except for a select few where I actually care for the people the event is about. For example, I’d gladly attend the wedding of a good friend, but not one where I don’t even know the bride or groom or 90% of the people there. So I guess when I had to attend one with my hubby and Mom in law, I wasn’t prepared for how uncomfortable I would feel. I was nauseated, really tired, my eyes were watery and I was in no mood for small talk and conversations. When the steam fish came out, I knew I had to excuse myself before I puked all over the table cloth.

Apparently, that and my entire behaviour that night wasn’t very polished at all. Hubby was upset, although he understood my discomfort. I felt like a total wreck, like I was a terrible wife and a terrible daughter in law. No one there knew I am pregnant so they all must think me a snobbish pompous girl who thinks I’m too good for such an event. The journey home was just as horrible and the I couldn’t sleep well that night. The worst thing was when I got home, my relatives from overseas just reached and I didn’t even stop to say hello. I just ran, red-eyed, into my room and then the toilet and waited for my eyes to dry up before going out to apologize. Even thinking about it now makes me want to cry.

Gosh, a pregnant woman’s blog isn’t the happiest reading material, is it?

I told hubby that if I am not feeling up to it, I won’t be attending any events with him any more, lest I make a fool out of him and my mother in law again. You cannot imagine how horrible I feel about myself right now. I can’t even eat to make myself feel better.

Friends have been asking to meet up but honestly, the journey in the train and bus just makes me not want to meet up and I feel very guilty about that. I really want this nausea andtiredness to end. This constant feeling of having food at my throat all the time is just such discomfort.

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The 2nd visit to the doctor’s last Friday went well. As of today, I am 9 weeks pregnant. Mom and Steph says this discomfort will not last all pregnancy and will hopefully go away after the first trimester. Oh I can’t wait…

On the bright side, we could hear little baby’s heartbeat last Friday. 🙂 Now I have 2 heartbeats in me. Such is the miracle of life.

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Furkids

I have been quite worried about our little doggie recently. I guess in Asian countries, or at least the society I live in, pets are considered dirty or bad for babies. My opinion differs. But of course, to each his own.

Right now what’s important is that I want to train our little guy to be a good obedient dog that knows his boundaries and also to remind him constantly that he is still part of the family when the baby comes.

Training him is no issue. It just takes a little time and patience. It is the support or rather the lack of it that gets me down. Luckily, I found this pet forum of women living here talking about how she managed with 4 dogs when she was expecting her first child. It was very encouraging to read about how she managed to handle it all by herself and how her dogs trust her leadership to be able to live peacefully around with her kids.

I want to be like that. Stay positive, keep cool and stand your ground. Here’s to a happy successfully trained doggie! 🙂

To all moms out there with a little furkid of their own, let’s support each other!

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Nobody Gets Left Behind

I went for my Basic Theory Driving Test the other day and failed by a single mark. Normally I wouldn’t be too bothered about it. But I guess being pregnant means you start getting weepy too. I felt so terrible I didn’t want to go back to work. I walked to the nearest bus stop and took a ride home. Called Hubby to let it out and he got me this to cheer me up.

Stitch Collectables

I know what you’re thinking. They are for me, not the baby. haha! I have tons of Stitch collectables, so much that it is embarrassing. I’m not sure if baby Tarn is going to like Stitch as much as I do. I hope so. It’s one of the best Disney cartoons with the best family lessons.

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It’s only been a couple of days since my last post so there isn’t much to update about  my pregnancy journey, just a few bits of information I left out last time.

Physical Changes

My breasts are sore and tender. I can’t lie on them for long. Anyway it isn’t good to lie on your front, that’s what my dad always tells me. Nausea has also started to hit me the past 2 days. Except it doesn’t always happen in the morning. Sometimes it comes in the evening. Sometimes it doesn’t come at all. Sometimes I feel perfectly fine and forget I’m even pregnant! How turbulent! I also have cramps, but they aren’t as bad as when I had my period. Usually they’d be so bad I wouldn’t be able to walk for long.

Surprisingly, before I got pregnant, I had terrible cramps, headaches and nausea before and during my period. When we were trying to conceive it was hard to differentiate the symptoms. I told myself that maybe when I don’t have these cramps, headaches and nausea, that will be the day. Fair enough, a few days before my period was supposed to come and when I was suppose to experience all the usual symptoms, I felt nothing but sore boobs and very slight cramps.

Lifestyle Changes

I have started training our dog more. He gets excited when the doorbell rings and he likes to jump onto people. Can’t have that when I’m carrying our little one. It took a while, and a whole lot of barking. But we got there. I brought the doorbell in and keep pressing it while distracting him with his favourite treat – frozen blueberries. He still barks (he is a guard dog after all and you really don’t want to stop him from barking altogether), but at least he stops after a few barks and he sits still while the guests come in. The trick is not to lose your cool and temper. Dogs mimic your behaviour so if you’re feeling restless and impatient, they pick that up and feel the same way too. Stay positive, people, and you and your pet can do amazing things together.

He can also bark on command now. When I googled how to stop your dog from barking, one way was to teach him to bark on command so that you can teach him to stop barking on command. It sounds like a roundabout way to teach him. But it worked. When you have an overly active, playful and intelligent dog, you gotta try everything.

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I was really upset when my mom suggested I give my dog away when we got pregnant. PT is part of the family. And if Lilo and Stitch taught us anything, is that family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten. You don’t just give up on your loved ones when times get tough. Besides, training your dog can be fun and rewarding and having a pet in the family can be wonderful for your child. If I were to give up PT, what kind of family values would I be passing on to baby Tarn?

PT smiling

Besides, now that I have lived with this smile for more than a year, how can I live without it anymore? PT is a Tarn, and we stick together. 🙂

 

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We’re Expecting!

When the doctor took an ultrasound and couldn’t find anything, my first thought was that all the pee I stored before coming here was for nothing.

Then he took an internal scan and we saw our little sac for the first time.

Little Sac

I knew then that this little fellow was going to be a handful. 🙂

When I first suspected I was pregnant, even the slightest hope of its possibility made me excited. People around me were more cautious, though. The Chinese believe that it is bad luck to share your news of your pregnancy within the first 3 months. I must admit it was a bit of a downer for me. Hubby and I have been trying for cumulatively about a year (between his busy schedule and my getting sick) and so when my period was late and the pregnancy test kit I took, without expecting much then, came back positive, I could hear bells ringing in my head.

I woke up at 4am. Even that early on I had to go toilet more often then usual. And since I was up I decided to take the test. When the words “Pregnant” lit up, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I immediately wanted more solid confirmation from a doctor. But my parents weren’t so supportive, though. I guess because it was still too early to tell. However, after trying for quite a while, I think a little cautious celebration was alright.

The blood test we took that day came back with high levels of HCG a few days later, but not enough for doctors to want to confirm a pregnancy. The nurse who called us up gave us a scare by telling us in a very serious tone that we needed to collect our results and talk to the doctor as soon as possible. Luckily to journey to the clinic was only 5 minutes drive away. I guess the worrying starts almost immediately. 🙂

The ultrasound we took later that week confirmed our suspicions. There was no fireworks, no printing of shirts to let the whole world know. And my parents’ reactions remained unchanged. But I know inside they are happy for me. The most important thing now is that the little sac in me grows steadily and healthily.

My Pregnancy Journey so far:

Physical Changes

I don’t expect much, since it has only been a month. My pimples are coming back though. And I’m feeling bloated and extremely tired. I wake up and by the time I finished showering and had my breakfast, I feel ready for bed again. Although the doctor does not encourage extreme exercise, it is still important to keep fit. But for now, I’m just enjoying my daily walks with my dog every morning and evening. Shall check out some Yoga soon. Oh! I pee a lot too. I never knew this could be a thing at such an early stage.

Emotional Changes

I am getting a little short with hubby. But he takes it by giving me a big hug each time I show him a pout. The other day I was watching this video on Susan Boyle’s journey and I kept crying. But who wouldn’t? 😉

Diet

Mom has always given us balanced meals. Veggies, meat, milk, eggs, fruits. Our dinner is always colourful. She also bought me bird’s nest to drink and juiced some really sweet watermelons. I guess Mom shows her happiness in different ways. 🙂 I’ve also stopped eating chips, which is hard for me. haha! But I still have a few scoops of Ben and Jerry’s every now and then.

I think sometimes pregnancy can be a lonely, scary and worrying journey for women. So it was a good thing I went out to get some reading on pregnancy. (‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ and DK’s Pregnancy Day by Day) It reminds me to be kinder to my hubby (winks) and not to be too hard on myself. In the end I don’t need fireworks or printed shirts. Just knowing that our love can bring about something so amazing; sharing this moment, this journey with hubby, is more than enough. 🙂