My Forest

First of all I want to apologize for being away for so long. Well, apologize to whoever reads this blog. *waves hi*

I have been preoccupied with a lot of things – visits from relatives, renovation, and many other stuff that are too boring to talk about. But I just wanted to share a few updates, just so when I’m free I can scroll down to reminisce on how much Aurora has grown.

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The little dumpling has definitely grown since my last update. I worry much more about whether I’m feeding her right, playing with her enough, teaching her enough. But when we go on walks with the furkid, I especially think about whether I am showing her how to be a good, kind person. I see the wonder and innocence in her and I don’t want it to disappear. We all know how cruel the world can be at times.

A big question to parents out there. Do you ever think of what your child will think of you as they grow older? I have been thinking a lot about that. I want to be someone Aurora can be proud of, someone she not only loves, but like as a person. What if she found out certain things about me that she finds distasteful? I’m not talking about the phase we go through as teenagers and how we complain about our parents. I’m talking about later as a person to person, will she like me?

There are so many things I recall from my childhood that I don’t wish to be repeated in Aurora’s. There’s so much I want to share with her. I don’t want to shield her from the world, rather to show her the world and remind her that although there are some things that we can’t change, we can always change our mindset and not let society take away the light in us.

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I’ve also been letting the little ones play together a little bit more. PT is a little frightened of her right now because of her grabbing tendencies. She has pulled out a fair bit of his fur. We’re trying to teach her to be gentle. It takes time. Meanwhile, we are keeping her away from him. Who’d have thought the baby would be a danger to the dog, not the other way round?

But when she isn’t grabbing, they like each other’s company. He likes to snuggle up against her when she’s asleep. And she follows him around to see what he’s looking at, or playing at. Above is a picture of them looking out the window to observe a little bird perched on the fence.

It’s nice to see them together. They remind me to be kind. To smile, even when you sometimes find it hard to. It’s the best thing you can offer the world. Who knows, it may be enough. 🙂

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I recently saw this quote that came up on facebook one day.

I couldn’t help but feel some comfort in it, especially after recent months. I think the quote speaks for itself. And I just want to say to those who have stuck around and made your way through the thorns, thank you. And to my better half, I want to apologize. Perhaps my forest has engulfed you a little too much ever since the day you put that ring on my finger. And like Will McAvoy has explained, our boat may have holes that cannot be fixed. But since we’re stuck in this boat that we have made ours, there is no one else I’d rather be stuck with. In fact, I am beyond grateful that I’m stuck with you. You literally keep me from self destruction. And I’m sorry no one else sees that but me. You deserve more credit than people give you. I love you.

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